Dragons, Thunder, and the Neon Sky

We came seeking victory. Glory. Perhaps a few turkey legs. What we got instead was chaos, dragons, a thousand simulated turtle-shells, and a roller coaster that pelted us with airborne pin-needles of rain. And it was awesome.

Our two-day saga at Universal’s new Epic Universe began with a simple truth: none of us had a clue what we were walking into. My dad, Doug the Steadfast. My nephews, Eli the Tracker and Noah the Trickster. And I, Keeper of Express Passes. From our view at the Terra Luna resort the night before, the land called to us like a shimmering promise. What lay within? Would we survive? Would we obtain dessert?

Savoring a sweet treat, someone holds up a dessert creation in the sun, with the lively backdrop hinting at the fun day ahead.

Breakfast of champions.

Fueled by sugar and unfounded confidence, we made our opening charge into Super Nintendo World. Crowd be cursed, we weren't stopping until the Power-Up Bands were on our wrists and the Mushroom Kingdom was under siege. Eli went with Toad. Noah picked Diddy Kong. I, naturally, took up the Yoshi mantle. We were warriors of whimsical ancestry, avatars of chaos.

Donkey Kong: Mine Cart Madness was first, and boy did it feel like someone actually tried to murder us with tracks-that-suddenly-weren’t. The missing-rail effect? Stunning. The juddering, speed, and sheer cartoon lunacy? Peak Donkey Kong. Right before we launched around the first tight turn, someone — probably me — screamed something about bananas and impending doom.

Everyone’s caught in the moment on the Mine Cart Madness ride, a mix of excitement and sheer delight across the group’s faces.

Our expressions told the tale — a Viking horde facing barrel traps and roller coaster gods.

Then came Mario Kart: Bowser’s Challenge. Strapping on AR visors like battle helms, we galloped through a labyrinth of pixels and pyrotechnics, half real, half digital delusion. Did we win? Possibly. Did Bowser cheat? Most assuredly. But the mayhem was glorious. We came, we karted, we nearly lost our lunches.

Mid-day hunger struck like a thunder god’s axe, and we sought refuge within Celestial Park. There, among cosmic decor and neon calm, the Blue Dragon whispered promises of noodles and solace.

Enjoying a cozy meal at the Blue Dragon, with smiles all around and a menu promising a mouthful of deliciousness.

Eli’s ramen bowl was so vast, I considered charting it for future expeditions. My orange chicken, those potstickers — pure comfort in edible form. As the room glowed around us, we sank deeper into plush happiness.

Chilling at the Blue Dragon, where the vibe is as relaxed as it is vibrant, with cozy tables and a neon-lit backdrop that feels like a warm hug out of the Orlando sun.

Refueled and reckless, we turned our eyes skyward. Stardust Racers called to us with siren song and steel tracks. The wait teased us with technical hiccups, lulled us with false starts — then launched us into a storm.

Everyone's caught in the thrill of the ride, with some grins and wide-eyed excitement, as the Stardust Racers coaster flings them through cosmic adventure.

The rain hit midway through like arctic knives on exposed skin. We howled. We laughed louder. And we rode again. And again.

Everyone's caught mid-thrill on Stardust Racers. Plenty of laughs and wide-eyed excitement as the ride whirls through its cosmic adventure.

We braved the stars and stung by clouds, were baptized in thrill.

But amidst the warring kingdoms and sci-fi battlegrounds, one land stole our Norse hearts more than any other: The Isle of Berk.

The crew is all smiles in front of the epic Isle of Berk backdrop. Looks like everyone’s channeling their inner Viking for this adventure!

Brothers of the Wind, Riders of the Dragon. Berk embraced us in roaring flame and flying majesty. Hiccup’s Wing Gliders took us soaring with tear-jerking orchestral swells.

Everyone is having a blast on Hiccup's Wing Gliders, hands in the air and smiles all around, capturing the thrill of the ride.

We’d expected silly dragons. We got emotional lift-off and deep-chested nostalgia. The food in Berk? That mac & cheese cone with bacon jam? Bifrost-worthy.

On day one, disaster struck mid-dragon-show — a mechanical hiccup cut the “Untrainable Dragon” mid-roar. Day two redeemed it with the full show and then some. Animatronics, effects, storytelling — all fit for the halls of Valhalla.

A curious detour into the Fyre Drill water ride proved less noble. Soaked and squishy, we emerged unsure if the comedy justified the moisture. But our spirits rebounded with a twisty triumph on Dragon Challenge — a beast we tamed with looping flips and questionable laughter.

Everyone's smiles are as bright as the Orlando sun, standing in front of the epic backdrop of dragon arches. Looks like the adventure hype is totally justified!

Of course, no tale of hidden realms is complete without monsters in the dark.

Dark Universe enveloped us in haunted fog and pulsing terror. Frankenstein Manor stood like a cathedral of dread. Then Monsters Unchained grabbed us by the screams and wouldn’t let go.

It looks like everyone was having a blast on the Monsters Unchained ride, with expressions ranging from pure excitement to nervous anticipation amidst the epic fantasy backdrop.

The gang’s screaming and laughing through the chaos of Monsters Unchained, with Frankenstein and friends making sure it’s a ride to remember.

We shrieked. We laughed. I may have cursed a mummy. And we posed like proud monster fodder beneath Dracula’s scowl.

The crew looking thrilled in front of a dramatic Dark Universe backdrop, with Dracula and Frankenstein looming behind them, adding a spooky touch to the fun.

The Ministry of Magic awaited us next — and what a spell it cast. Magic, statues, and cobbled streets straight from the dreamscape.

This place looks straight out of a wizard's dream, with golden statues and shimmering tiles setting the mood. Seems like an enchanting evening moment, with "Tuesday" marking the memory.

We wandered the alleys of wizarding Paris, just shy of curfew, lanterns glowing like captive stars.

The vibe is pure magic as the dimly lit street captures that classic Parisian ambiance, dotted with whimsical lights and a mysterious atmosphere.

Strolling through a beautifully lit street at night, with a majestic archway glowing in the distance, it feels like magic is in the air.

This quiet, cobblestone street looks straight out of a fantasy story, with the warm glow of lanterns casting playful shadows on the buildings.

The Fantastic Beasts stage show? Better than any tale in a wizard tome. And while the Ministry ride itself lacked a rush, we still stood bewitched by the grandeur.

Here we are, grinning in the magical glow of the Wizarding World, with some epic statues behind us for good measure.

And what's an epic tale without a little whimsy?

Enjoying a whimsical ice cream cone topped with colorful marshmallows, all set against a charming park scene with a fountain in the background.

By the end, we weren’t just sore-footed adventurers. We were veterans of magic and monsters, seekers of sweets and seekers of speed.

This was definitely a thrill ride moment, everyone’s expressions shifting between sheer excitement and a bit of “what did I sign up for” panic!

Would we return? Without question. There's always another dragon to chase, another coaster to scream through, another tale waiting under neon stars. Epic Universe didn’t just live up to the name.

It earned its place in saga.